Tatya is a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism and one of my best friends. Lately, she’s been asked to do a lot of grueling, soul-sucking work at her office looking up old accounts and solving disputes. The following conversation is a direct result of this.
Me: Hey, Tatya… How are you doing?
Tatya: Well, around now, I’d usually say “kill me”, but I’d much rather kill someone else.
Another conversation, this time with Tatya and Francie, a lovely lady who is expecting her first child. This conversation is about possible things to do with American tourists.
Tatya: We could take them out to the desert sometime and do some camping. I could drive the van out and we could just sleep under the stars…
Me: …with the spiders and snakes… and the dehydration…
Francie: …and the axe murderers…
Me: 22 tourists are murdered in Australia every year, right? I don’t want to be killed by an axe murderer.
Tatya: But… if we got killed by an axe murderer, just think… our families would get so much mileage out of it!
Apparently, if Tatya manages to leave the mortal coil before her husband does, he is going to have her stuffed and mounted onto her favourite couch facing the television with a remote control in one hand and her favourite DVDs in the DVD player.
Sometimes, I do wonder about the sanity of the people around me.